UCET November 2011
Having something to say, that’s original and worth saying:
and then saying it. Private thoughts in public spaces. Breaking the silence: being
known.
It’s not
enough to have something to say, it’s not even enough to have something to say
that is original – you have to have something to say that is original and worth
saying.
I have just presented a paper at the UCET conference. When I
started at Hull the Research Director informed me that he did not have a high
regard for people who simply attended conferences but nothing (in terms of
REFable output) seemed to emerge from their attendance and that if I wanted to
participate in such events I should aim to always present. This was good advice
and so I am presenting and aim to do something as often as I can – ideally 2 or
3 times per year. Without this
prompting, I doubt I would be so fixated on this.
I managed to get through my MA and EdD without presenting
anything, ever – until my final year when I had to do my viva. My supervisor suggested that it was important
that I presented at places before the viva as a trial run and so I spoke at
Doctoral school conferences. There’s a
strange anxiety exhilaration, deflation and more anxiety that surrounds the
experience. The only space that offers those same emotions but in an
exaggerated hyper sensation: silence.
Did I not see a tweet – hell is not getting out of bed. I’ve done silence. It’s not me.
I return to meme #1 – writing that pushes the boundaries –
learning as living at the edge of our comfort zone:
A
generative dance on the edge of a volcano.
·
There is a strong methodology question: entering a
terrain in which I am already present and deeply implicated: situational
analysis
·
I need a much closer reading of skills for sustainable
growth – a critical discourse analysis
·
This is a trial run that I then see if I can work with
other practitioners to pursue and develop: through RaPAL? Or the Y&H
consortium. Can this be a range of activities that they try out with students
and feedback on – as data; an exercise where I quote them and get them to
analyse the quote
·
Does social practices present an overly romanticised
view of literacy – does it ever acknowledge the dis-functionality that is
directly attributable literacy as a distributed community resource. The
anecdotes – toxic literacies, dysfunctional literacies, poisoned literacy
portraits - the voices of students and teachers who after all - want
·
I could have and wish I had asked much more about the
people in the room. Got there perspective and geared my presentation around it.
·
Had the slide
but bottled the discussion about my purpose and methodology – what this
research is not. It refuses
instrumentality and ‘action research’.
It’s hard to explain how mixed my feelings are
just now. While I am pleased to be presenting and speaking about
research on the other hand the anxieties that kept my silent for so long have
not disappeared. They are as present as ever and produce a feeling of
wretchedness after the seminar. It was not as good as I would have
liked.
Perhaps I did not push myself enough (not just at the last
stage) to move beyond and develop an analysis that emerges after hours of
sweat. An analysis that I feel proud of, excited by. But – such
analyses are struggled through ... on the way there, there is this unwanted and
seemingly useless stuff I have to feel my way through
As well as this and after a workshop I had to leave early
but wanted to stay and attend, I could for future refs try to predict who
will be there and have alternatives approaches to meet those different
audiences.
I could have engaged more - conversation. Instead of a
presentation – have an activity embedded – questions for participants and an
activity
I could have made the presentation more stimulating by
embedding video clips. I could have invited them to be part of the data
analysis.
I have just noticed the possibility of a link between how
literacy is conceptualised and their own motivations for teaching; that these
motivations may strongly influence their sense of what it is they are teaching
– what we teach is connected to why we teach
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